she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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