i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
