I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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