It's a beautiful day for a hangover
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
