Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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