Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
