seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
