Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
