physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize