My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
