he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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