drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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