I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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