I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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