508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
