yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
God, I missed his penis.
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