Im at strip club and am horny
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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