I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
