Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
