I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
