I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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