He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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