I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
