Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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