did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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