i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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