arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
