I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
