Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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