Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
