We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
