so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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