More tranny stories later!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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