I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think my vagina is haunted
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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