Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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