Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
