did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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