I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you had me at cake vodka
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize