you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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