He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
