you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
