She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
