So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
