we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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