quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
