i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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