Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize