do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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