She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize