I would go down on you faster than GM stock
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
