'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
