I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
