you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
