yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
