i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
