doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize