It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
