Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize