Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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