I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize