I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
