I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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