I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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