I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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