You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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