either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Randomize
