I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My vagina just clenched in fear
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
